I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
