My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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