I accidentally burped into my bong.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
