i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
