Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
