There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
She's the barista slut.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
