the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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