i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
