Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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