look no pants
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I can't turn off my feet"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
