So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
