Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
