Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
