im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
