I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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