i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
