I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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