i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
