how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
