I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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