one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
