I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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