It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
