The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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