So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
COCAINE IS GR8
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