3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
