Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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