I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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