just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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