life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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