how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
you had me at cake vodka
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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