If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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