Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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