All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There's always time for handjobs
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
