Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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