Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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