Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
