Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
