im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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