dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
