I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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