she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
