break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
