This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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