I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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