I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
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