her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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