I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
