all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
