Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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