are you still at the devil's house?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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